Mentioning Death

When ever I mention death, and the mere thought of not existing, people shoot me down or quickly change the subject. "Don't say that" or "I don't want to think about that" or "Why do you have to bring that up?

All I am asking is...... "What if you lost me tomorrow?"  "What if I lost YOU tomorrow?"

To me this isn't a subject that should be ignored, but something that should be talked about, all the time. Everyday. Let me tell you why......

In the past six years I have gone through losing Kris's aunt and four year old cousin from drowning, then my very close friend and colleague Geoffrey to suicide, followed by losing a close family friend with whom I grew up with to a drunk driving incident. Not to mention almost losing my own Mother on different occasions through out the years.

I am always asking myself, what can I do or say to those who I love today, knowing that I might lose them tomorrow? Or what can I say and do to others that they will be able to take away from who I am and what I was while I was on this earth.

Life is not promised tomorrow, and why aren't we all living every minute with knowing that?  Its absurd to me! Or is it just the way that I think........ every time I get mad or upset or ungrateful, my mind automatically turns to the 'what if's' with every single person in my life, and my mind is automatically altered.

Most importantly....(and yet not selfishly) I think of myself.... and if it was my life that was taken... the words spoken at the funerals of those that I have lost are embedded in my every day life... replaying in my mind during every day tasks..... driving to the store, taking a shower, getting dressed in the morning....."he WAS this....."    "She WAS this...." "I will never forget......".  What kind of imprint do I want to leave with my loved ones or in fact anyone that I come into contact with through out my journey...

I for one don't think that its a bad thing to share with your loved ones what your mission on this planet is, what you are about and what you believe are your OWN person fundamentals, whether you are 5 or 95. We are all different, we all have different views, goals and ambitions.  But what we all share is that we want our loved ones to know exactly what we want to leave behind.

I get it its normal to be afraid of death, it is a scary thing, its unknown.  I dread it every day.... for myself and for those that I love most. But don't be afraid to talk about it, to have the courage to own what you want to leave behind, and to let those know if you leave before them, that you HAD the courage to acknowledge it.